Love

Love

There are various kinds of love with even more definitions of each. One popular version might be described as the desire for two people to spend their lives together, with a continuing compassion for each other through good and bad times.

Joseph Addison (1672-1719) puts it quite nicely this way: "Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species with a design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment have, in that action, bound themselves to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other's frailties and perfections, to the end of their lives."

Of course it isn't always easy because conflicts about ideas, choices and habits arise. Some of these conflicting situations are easy to overlook while others can be very annoying, upsetting, and continual. Some personal mannerisms of one may never suit those of the other, and compromise cannot always be reached. Parting ways might seem inevitable, but often relaxing and rethinking the whole picture can result in a positive turn.

For example, many difficulties in a friendship, including marriage, can be put to the back by the simple act of resignation. By accepting certain personal conditions as permanent, they will somehow become more acceptable. Eventually the conflicting ideas may not be much of an issue, thanks to resignation. This leaves more room for mutual contentment and fondness.

Has the other's point of view been considered earnestly? How about a commitment to doing things that are basically unfavorable if it will improve the relationship? What are the other's favorable traits and conditions that are being overlooked? Nobody has to be perfect!

"If you wished to be loved, love." - Lucius Seneca (3-65)

Love

    * John 15:12-13
    * 1 Corinthians 13

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Problems

Problems

We are all faced with problems throughout our lives, some are small, others huge. Depending on how we deal with them, they can be overwhelming and devastate our lives, or they can quickly fade into the past.

Attitude plays a big role. With a difficult personal or work undertaking, consider all viewpoints, even those you think you don't like. It just might provide relief from your fearful analysis of the situation. Don't oversize the problem which is often a panic reaction. Discuss the actions that you could take with a friend or co-worker which can sometimes provide a good suggestion and some instant stress relief.

Lay out a procedure and slowly complete the first task. The next steps should be easier. Often we will keep on worrying after the decisions are made, which of course is of no help at all. If everything that can be done has been done then it's time to follow through.

"Our plans miscarry if they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind." Lucius Seneca (3-65)

Rejection can be an unpleasant experience, but it just lets us know that we aren't perfect. Who is? Consider it a lesson learned, then forget it and move on with your life in a positive constructive manner.

To help solve a difficult problem or to cut down on worrying about making a decision, analyze the situation, determine what must be done and carry it out. In writing or on your PC:

Get all the facts.
Describe the problem in detail.
List all the possible solutions.
List the advantages and disadvantages of each.
Detail what you will do.
Follow through.

You have detailed the planning and know that you will proceed in a certain way, but will review it as required. Later. Now it's time to think other thoughts.

"What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing." - Aristotle (BC)

Revenge

Revenge

Each time that someone inflicts physical or emotional pain upon us there is usually a natural reaction to attack back. While this can give some much needed satisfaction, it is not an open and shut case.

There are different kinds of hurt - harsh or mild, intentional or accidental, apparently justified or not. Sometimes the perpetrator is emotionally ill or extremely stressed and unaware of the seriousness of the incident, perhaps feeling very much worse than you do. Imagine that the positions are switched for a different perspective on the situation.

"It's hard to have one's watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a thief from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as they are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not with joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) 

It is worth considering the aftermath of revenge. How do you feel now, better or worse? How does the other person feel? Was your reaction too strong or harmful? Perhaps you feel bad and regret it altogether? Could a little discussion have avoided the incident?

"To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it." - Confucius (BC)

It may seem very stupid to turn the other cheek when we have been hurt, and often it is. However, we should review the situation and consider the facts and effects. Who is being harmed by our anger and retaliation? If we cause ourselves more grief when we try to get even, isn't this another reason to at least review our actions?

"He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves." - Chinese proverb

Future

Future

Our vision for the future might hold one of these two possibilities. We could be dreaming about some enjoyment that hopefully lies ahead, or worried about some looming hardship.

Often the enjoyment in our lives is put on hold, we just need more time and money. We just have to work a little harder. Too many things can go wrong with this and we may not be able to do it later for various reasons. If we put off our enjoyment of life until later, it may take longer than we think, or it may never happen the way that we envisioned it.

We should not throw away our precious today's in anticipation of good times, not when we can have days of enjoyment and satisfaction now. Perhaps it's time for an examination of our style of life and our wants and needs, now and for the future. It is good to imagine a happy future and make plans for it but we should not put off the happiness we can have today. So why not live each day as if the future plans may not materialize.

"We are never living, but only hoping to live; and, looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so."

Worrying over something that is going to happen will make our lives stressful and less happy.

After examining an upcoming difficult or seemingly disastrous situation, if there is something that can be done to improve on it, do it. If not, and the event cannot or should not be avoided, then accept the fact and start thinking about something else. Worrying about it will not only be a total waste of time but it will increase anxiety, and things will seem even worse than they really are.

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."

Stress

Stress

Stress is predominant in our society. Most of us are running here, running there, doing something at high speed, seldom relaxing. And they thought they were living busy lives a hundred years ago!

"This strange disease of modern life with its brisk hurry and divided aims." - Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

To improve upon this stressful way of life we can reassess our values and routines. If possible, we can eliminate some of those things which are not necessary to a contented life, and we can slow down. Achieving a stress free way of life will help keep us healthier and living longer and make our time here a lot more fun. 

You can often visualize your way out of tension by picturing yourself in a very calm, peaceful, serene setting, in complete easy control.

Picture it clearly and hold on to it. You can use your imagination in many different ways to help siphon off tensions - when at the bathroom sink or in the shower, let all your worries, stresses, anxieties, run down the drain with the dirty soapy water. 

When you start to feel stress coming on, immediately try relaxing the muscles and fill your mind with thoughts of peace, tranquility,

confidence, strength, happiness. Repeat these and other calming words to yourself now and again. Take notice of, and enjoy your surroundings

all through the day. Look at, listen to, smell the limitless variety of things natural everywhere.

Make a determined effort to please someone. Offer help, agree, smile. This is much easier than trying to impress others, or trying to be perfect. Thinking of, and interacting with others, can be very soothing on the nerves, particularly if you expect no credits.  

"The American over-tension and jerkiness and breathlessness and intensity and agony of expression are primarily social, and only secondarily physiological, phenomena. They are bad habits, nothing more or less, bred of custom or example, born of imitation of bad models and the cultivation of false personal ideals." - William James (1842-1910)

Values

Values

Most of us go through life always wanting more and better. Being in this state of constant desire does not coexist with peace of mind.

It is normal to want better lives for ourselves and our families, but we have to balance our goals with the cost. How much does this promotion, vacation, new purchase, cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, go into getting it?

With the fast paced living that surrounds us it's difficult to avoid being swept in. Too many of us are rushing through our daily lives to do more and to acquire more. We are becoming less interested in our fellow humans as friends and more as competitors as we try to keep up or to possess more material goods.

There is a big push in this social direction by corporations and their marketers. They are in business to make money for their managements and shareholders, so this will likely continue if there is not much resistance. Advertising is a powerful persuasion to buy things we may not need or maybe not even really want. The overall success of marketing has created a want addiction for many consumers.

As more and more we come to falsely regard material gains as success we are missing out on the true values of life. Money really is quite necessary in our lives, but its value should not be worshiped. The good things in life are free, life itself, friendship, nature. Whatever we do possess, in the end we must leave it all behind.

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run." - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862) 

Responsibility

Responsibility

Our lives are only as good as we decide to make them. As with any worthwhile project we should make short and long range plans. We should follow them through, reviewing and altering them as we go. It is our design and determination that decide our destiny, and this is our responsibility.

When things go wrong we should not be quick to blame anyone. This can easily become a habit supplying us with ready excuses for our own mistakes and problems. Let's examine others' and our own actions and then decide how we should proceed with our own efforts.

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."

We should make a special effort to be what we want to be, giving consideration to what others might wish of us. We must do our duties, complete our tasks, be kind and honest.

When there is the temptation for an immediate pleasure that may be harmful to us or to others, we must resist. Where there are injustices we should speak up.

"It is not alone what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." We are individuals and should do what we believe in, taking responsibility for our actions.

A good critical look at ourselves is very helpful in determining what needs changing. It may also reveal much good to be proud of.

Not in the clamor of the crowded street,
Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,
But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.
- Henry Longfellow (1807-1882)

Fear

Fear

So much to fear - if we allow it.

There are common fears that can invade our lives, lessen our well being, and rob us of happiness. A general fear of failing in life can be the result of fear in one or more areas such as with personal health or workplace conditions. A common fear is social anxiety.

There are many niche fears that are more confined such as fear of heights, closed spaces, mice, strangers, public speaking and more.

Fear tears at our insides and causes us to feel inadequate and panicky. It can be uncomfortable to horrifying and uncontrolled can lead to a lower quality of life. In our endeavor to be happier we should consider learning more about fear, its causes and possible ways of dealing with it. Fire up your search engine or head for the library and learn more about fear.

One suggestion offered through the ages is that it is not an event that causes fear, but it is the fear of that event. If it is in our thoughts then it is something that we might control by altering our ideas, attitudes, or actions.

"For it is not death or hardship that is a fearful thing, but the fear of death or hardship."

Try to free yourself from guilt or shame. If you have erred badly correct it or forget it. Talk it over with a friend. Look for good in yourself and in others. Avoid large doses of hyped bad news reporting and look for some good stories.

Criticism by peers at work or school is a real cause of fear yet it may indicate the attackers' emotional problems. They may need to put others down in order to feel adequate. Bullying is harmful and unacceptable, and it should be discussed with friends, family, and others that can provide help or suggestions.

There is only one you, unique and deserving of a good life, so feel good about yourself just the way you are.

Afraid

    * Psalm 34:4
    * Matthew 10:28

Kindness

Kindness

Kindness to others is usually a rewarding experience, both to the recipient and the giver. When we are kind to someone we do not need to be thanked since we are instantly rewarded.

"When you are good to others, you are best to yourself." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Doing a favor or showing understanding and compassion just feels good. To do so for praise or other benefit is more of a trade and does not have the same effect. To be kind without taking credit for it is a true unselfish act of goodness. Not only are we performing a kindness, but we are doing ourselves a big favor by reducing our stresses and improving our well being.

"The measure of a person's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."

Many philosophers and others have stated this important relationship between our feelings toward others and the way we feel. By thinking of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves. This is particularly helpful if we find that we are too often occupied with self-pity, anger, or anxieties. It can work miracles.

Charity is more than a tax deduction.

"If you lend money, it is uncertain whether you shall be repaid; but if you bestow alms, although they may be small, your return will be a hundred fold."

So do yourself a favor and be kind every day.

# Kindness

    * Colossians 3:12,13

Appreciation

Appreciation

A better life has been achieved when we are no longer trying to achieve a better life. It means that we are content, as we should be, with ourselves and what we have. To be anxious for more or to envy someone else's life or possessions is self-defeating. We are then in a constant state of frustration, always hoping and waiting for more happiness.

So what is important? Enough, not more.

"Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them."

There is, here and now, much to appreciate. There is life itself with friends, family, and everything that is naturally before us. We just have to look around and take it in. Perhaps it is time to make a list of all the good things we have to grateful for.

Are there people in your life that you would miss dearly if they were not here? When you go for a walk don't you see, hear, and smell, many things to appreciate and feel nice about? Like the flowers, trees, birds, and the clouds in the sky. A caterpillar crossing the sidewalk or your neighbor waving. A cute pup or child enthusiastically enjoying that moment in life.

"Whether in favor or in humiliation, be not dismayed. Let your eyes leisurely look at the flowers blooming and falling in your courtyard. Whether you leave or retain your position, take no care. Let your mind wander with the clouds folding and unfolding beyond the horizon."

It just makes good sense to be satisfied and at peace with yourself and others, and to enjoy life now.

Past

Past

We all make mistakes. Sometimes they are very bad and cause ourselves and others much worry and suffering. We can be depressed and burdened with regret for many years, never forgiving ourselves, never forgetting our actions. Carrying on in this way is another big mistake, disturbing our lives in very unpleasant and painful ways.

It is not necessary. Worrying about something that has already happened is a complete waste of time if you just keep wishing that it hadn't happened. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience." - George Washington (1732-1779)

Perhaps there is some way to make amends and that should still be a consideration. If not then regard it as a learning experience. Review what has happened enough to draw conclusions about what to do, and what not do, in the future. But then forget the stupid or bad thing you did and start thinking about something else.

Negative thoughts about the past will keep coming back again and again unless there are other thoughts occupying your mind. Begin feeding your brain with encouraging and fun ideas especially when that 'thing' from the past returns. Be generous, kind and forgiving to others and yourself.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

You no longer have yesterday; you only have today and tomorrows.

There is a Purpose

Purpose

Many of us at one time or another have wondered what we are doing here. This can be both at times when we are having hectic, stress filled days, or at a standstill in a fog of boredom. We have temporarily lost sight of our purpose.

On average, the hours we work constitute a relatively small portion of our life and should not control our well being. If you are too tired or do not have enough time to do anything after hours, then your daily routine may be out of balance and may need to be adjusted. Your work may be too difficult or unsuitable, or you may need to change your routine. Perhaps a simpler lifestyle would change your focus on your work and life in general.

To obtain a healthy purpose in our lives we need a good balance of our time for work, goals, recreation, and relaxation. The daily routine should be examined, a plan established, and then it should be followed.

We can make good use of our time away from work to increase our knowledge of things and life, to work at a hobby or project, and to just relax. There may not be much room to maneuver, say if you are a working single parent, but perhaps a few hours can be found during your hectic week to do something that you want to do.
Most of us use only a small percentage of our capabilities and can do so much more. Learning new things gives us a feeling of achievement. Reading nonfiction books increases our knowledge and teaches us new skills, but it should be enjoyable. In undertaking a new after hours project do something different from what you do all day at work. Start with something small and complete it, so as not to get discouraged and to get a feeling of achievement when it is done.

If you are too busy and under a lot of stress, a more passive and relaxing undertaking might be in order, at least to start with. A day a week, or a few hours on certain days, should be set aside for your favorite enjoyment. Walking, listening to nice music, reading a novel, or leisurely working in the yard. Avoid news or entertainment that is saturated with disasters and violence. But whatever you do, don't sit and stew.

"When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind."

Signs Of The End Of Times

THE SIGNS OF THE END OF TIME

Mar 13:5 And Jesus began to say unto them, Take heed that no man lead you astray.

Mar 13:6 Many shall come in my name, saying, I am he; and shall lead many astray.

Mar 13:7 And when ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars, be not troubled: these things must needs come to pass; but the end is not yet.

Mar 13:8 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there shall be earthquakes in divers places; there shall be famines: these things are the beginning of travail.

Mar 13:9 But take ye heed to yourselves: for they shall deliver you up to councils; and in synagogues shall ye be beaten; and before governors and kings shall ye stand for my sake, for a testimony unto them.

Mar 13:10 And the gospel must first be preached unto all the nations.

Mar 13:11 And when they lead you to judgment, and deliver you up, be not anxious beforehand what ye shall speak: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye; for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Spirit.

Mar 13:12 And brother shall deliver up brother to death, and the father his child; and children shall rise up against parents, and cause them to be put to death.

Mar 13:13 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.

Mar 13:14 But when ye see the abomination of desolation standing where he ought not (let him that readeth understand), then let them that are in Judaea flee unto the mountains:

Mar 13:15 and let him that is on the housetop not go down, nor enter in, to take anything out his house:

Mar 13:16 and let him that is in the field not return back to take his cloak.

Mar 13:17 But woe unto them that are with child and to them that give suck in those days!

Mar 13:18 And pray ye that it be not in the winter.

Mar 13:19 For those days shall be tribulation, such as there hath not been the like from the beginning of the creation which God created until now, and never shall be.

Mar 13:20 And except the Lord had shortened the days, no flesh would have been saved; but for the elect's sake, whom he chose, he shortened the days.

Mar 13:21 And then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is the Christ; or, Lo, there; believe it not:

Mar 13:22 for there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show signs and wonders, that they may lead astray, if possible, the elect.

Mar 13:23 But take ye heed: behold, I have told you all things beforehand.

Mar 13:24 But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light,

Mar 13:25 and the stars shall be falling from heaven, and the powers that are in the heavens shall be shaken.

Mar 13:26 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in clouds with great power and glory.

Mar 13:27 And then shall he send forth the angels, and shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven.

The Sunday Christian

The Sunday Christian

Exodus 17-19 | Psalm 23 | Romans 2

In today's reading of Exodus God promises Israel that if they obey Him fully and keep His covenant, they will be for Him a "kingdom of priests and a holy nation". The Israelites were to know God's will and seek to apply it in their lives.

When we read of Paul's day (well over a thousand years later) in his letter to the Roman believers, we find that he has to rebuke the Jewish believers for acting as though their knowledge of God's law made them superior to the Gentile (non-Jewish) believers. 'It isn't important whether you have been given the law or not,' writes Paul, 'rather, it is important to keep the law if you know it. All men have consciences and know right from wrong, and those who haven't been given God's law will be judged by their consciences.'

The Jews Paul wrote to had lost sight of the meaning of the Law and simply trusted in knowing it, lording it over the struggling Gentile believers. But the law was there so that the Israelites could know God's will and apply it to their lives. Failing to do God's will after having received it in written form is much like a lawyer who fails to see that the law of the land actually applies to him - the whole point in both cases is the application of the law, not the knowledge of the law.

Christians today often fall into a similar trap: it is not uncommon for believers to follow a path of works though outwardly paying tribute to salvation by faith alone. "Sunday Christians" is a term categorizing those who 'act Christian' around their Christian friends or at church, whilst reverting to other behavior at all other times.

It is easy to grow to think that attending Church is all that God wants, indeed this seems to be a common belief in parts of the established Church. It is easy to believe that regular outward shows of a loyalty to the Christian Church is sufficient - as opposed to possessing faith in Christ.

Such thinking is a loss of sight of the real purpose of our faith: God wants to be in a relationship with us and so sent His Son to die in order that those relationships could happen. Then He sent His Holy Spirit so that those relationships could flourish and eventuate in eternal life with Him.

Regular church attendance - as well as good deeds and other Christian acts - are important and beneficial but aren't in themselves a relationship with God - they are not the purpose for which God sent His son to die. The Church was established by Jesus so that believers could carry out God's will together, receiving encouragement and support from each other - it is simply meant to aid believers in their relationship with God. Like the Jews who focused on the means God provided to the end rather than the end itself, believers can focus on the Christian lifestyle rather than the Christian purpose.

Satan does His best to pervert the will of God in this world and the fallacy of a Christian without faith in Christ is a common tool he uses.

---

Reflect on today's psalm, and pray that God will aid you in your faith in Him: that you may always trust Him and always remain focused on your salvation through faith.

Relaxation

Relaxation

Practicing relaxation techniques can help calm our days when they get too stressful. It's easy to miss out on enjoying a day in our life if our minds are filled with worrisome thoughts and our bodies are tense with stress. A day lived is not coming back and we should not lose it in this way.

For starters, eliminate some things. Avoid running around frantically trying to do too many things. Slow down and move with an easy manner.

If you cannot avoid problems and busy days, get in the habit of pausing to breathe slowly and deeply. Try to continue with easy breathing as you continue on with your tasks.

When tightening up, say at your desk, relax all your muscles. Let them go limp and loose like a soft towel. Don't try, just let it all go. Consciously let the muscles relax every time you feel them tighten, which might be all day long to start with. It is almost impossible to feel stressed if your muscles are relaxed.

If you can get a short break create a detailed peaceful retreat in your imagination and go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid detail. Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music, a quiet place in the woods, a placid lake, a beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds. Perhaps such a place already exists. While you are there, let go of everything except where you are.

Create a personal selection of calming words like serene, tranquil, peaceful and repeat them to yourself as you move through your day.

After work perhaps you can have a relaxing pastime such as walking or listening to music.

"There is however, a true music of nature - the song of the birds, the whisper of leaves, the ripple of waters upon a sandy shore, the wail of wind or sea." - John Lubbock (1834-1913)

Confidence

Confidence

Have you often admired the person who is friendly, relaxed and talks easily in a crowd? Most of us have wished that we had more of these outgoing attributes to help us in our work and daily lives.

Confidence comes easily and naturally for some, for many others it seems impossible. The good news is that it is a habit that can be learned to some degree by anyone. It will take some training and practice, but what a great way to be more successful and to feel better.

"The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. Without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience - true life is impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

A great source for learning self-confidence is of course books. You haven't been alone in the need for information on improving your ability to interact positively with people and there are numerous self-help books available to get you started. Just take an easy approach and read a variety of the best sellers that you feel will benefit you the most.

Using autosuggestion, by repeatedly filling the mind with thoughts of calmness and composure, can improve self-assurance. Picture in your mind, as vividly as possible, a scene in which you are performing very successfully. Picture this again and again so that your mind is totally occupied with your easy performance. This will push out doubt as there is not room for both trains of thought. Every time a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with positive thoughts.

Affirmations are a similar technique that can work wonders. This is the repeating of positive words about yourself, concerning what you wish to do. The words cram the mind with confident thoughts that have a direct effect on how you feel and act. As an example, if you have to make a presentation - ' I have nothing to lose. They like me and I feel good and comfortable with these people. I am concentrating on them, not on myself. They are not here to be critical of me. I am doing everything slowly, calmly, surely. I am relaxed and breathing deeply and easily. I feel confident about this and am in control.'

"They can because they think they can."

Despair

Despair

The feeling of despair and hopelessness may seem very appropriate and particular to your situation, but you should know that others have been there and have suffered similar or worse experiences. They have survived to enjoy life and so will you.

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." - Winston Churchill

All things pass, have they not always before? To counteract the feeling of hopelessness, list those assets and pleasures which you have but seem to be ignoring. Perhaps some of these words will turn your thoughts: family, friends, health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books. Start thinking about the nice things in your life, things you value and make you happy. Leave the negatives behind.

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." 

The feeling of guilt often results in despair and depression. We should think about the wrong we have done, but just long enough to realize the full extent of what we did. If there is something that can be done about it, consider doing it. The only other thing that we can do is to assure ourselves that we will avoid that mistake in the future. Beyond this, stewing over it and rehashing the event endlessly, will do no good. It is a complete waste of time and makes us feel sick with worry.

Avoid experiences that result in guilt by not judging, blaming, or bringing down other people. Try to find their good points, and try to avoid anger. Be nice to yourself too, accept that you make mistakes, and don't hold a grudge.

One of the best ways to recover from despair, guilt, or sorrow, is to keep busy.

"When all else is lost the future still remains."

Acceptance

Acceptance

When faced with a serious problem the first thing we can do is determine if there is a way to fix it. If there is a way then we can lay out a plan and go to it. If there is not a reasonable solution then we can resign ourselves to the fact that it isn't going to change and move on. Acceptance of the situation can provide some immediate relief from the anger, anxiety and stress that might be burdening us.

Why wouldn't you accept it, if it does not have a solution? Rehashing it over and over in your mind will not make it disappear and is just self punishment. The Serenity Prayer as used by the Alcoholics Anonymous organization puts it in this way.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Most of our worries are about something that has happened and is still with us, real or perhaps only as a memory. If it has already happened, what can be learned? It is the experience of struggling, surviving and carrying on, that makes us better humans.

How often have you worried intensely over something that turned out to be not as bad as you initially thought, or not a problem at all? Even some of our most serious personal problems often fade away in a month or year.

Acceptance is an important ingredient in the formula of life. It makes an irritating situation acceptable, a major problem minor. Acceptance should be waiting to take over whenever there is not a way out.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of the will."

Happiness

Happiness

"If you aren't happy, why aren't you?

Chances are it is because you want something which you do not have, objects or conditions. This is probably not a good enough reason and a review of your situation and perceptions may be in order.

You may have seen video of children in very poor countries laughing and playing, unconcerned that they should have more to be happy about. They are happy because they are playing, because they have their friends and family, and some food to eat that day. Everyone has the right to be happy, and if they can be in their situation, shouldn't you?

"Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life." - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Happiness is inside us, in our minds, in our thinking. It is not external material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of our thoughts and feelings. This is good because our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us.

Start by reviewing the things that you have to be happy about and dwell on these. Don't overlook the little or basic things that you take for granted.

Make a habit of substituting unhappy thoughts with happy thoughts. Whenever an unfavorable picture enters your mind, eject it and replace it with a pleasant one. We all have some nice experiences to recollect and there are usually little pleasures around us most of the time. You can even imagine enjoyable experiences, and it will have a similar positive effect.

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."  - Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Establish good principles and conduct yourself according to these principles. Love, or at least be tolerant of, your fellow humans. Don't strive too hard for that which, in the end, will not make you happier.

A Clean Heart

A Clean Heart

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10

God knows the darkness of our own hearts.  Only He can cleanse our
hearts.  Jesus came to cleanse us from sin and guilt.  He re-creates
a clean heart within us.  The purity of His love moves us to love,
renewing a right spirit within us!

The world says, "work on yourself."  God says, "Turn to Me."  The
Psalmist has it right, praying to God for this blessing.  God wills to
provide the same healing for you.  He waits even now for you to turn to
Him and ask Him! 

Prayer for the day:

O Lord God, I ask you for a clean heart today.  Forgive me and fill me
with Your love.  Only You can renew me.  Give me these gifts, a clean
heart and a strong spirit, through Jesus Christ our Savior, Amen.

Today

Today

At the end of today, if it has been preoccupied with thoughts of enjoyment that might be coming, we will find that we have lost something valuable that will be gone forever. Today!

In hoping to be happy about something in the future, instead of being happy right now, we are missing out. We often want more time, more money for that new purchase, a better job, better health. The list may be long.

This is such a waste because there are probably many things to feel really good about each day. Unfortunately we are encouraged to dwell on things that we have yet to acquire. If we were bombarded with daily reminders of how lucky we are and how much we have to be happy about, we would retire at night with wonderful days behind us.

"No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy the sunlight today, mix good cheer with friends today, then enjoy it and bless God for it. Do not look back on happiness or dream of it in the future. You are only sure of today; do not let yourself be cheated of it."

Our day should be free of other stresses and worries. An analysis of a bad event that has happened, or may happen, can be worthwhile in determining a course of action. Beyond that, to continue worrying about it is a completely useless waste of time and is harmful to our health. Worry does not help the future experience and could make it worse, and the past cannot be changed.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

So enjoy yourself today because it is not coming back.

Friendship

Friendship

Interacting amiably with family and friends is a super stress reducer. Instead of the mind working overtime on worries and problems, it is occupied with thoughts of other things and other people. There is less mental capacity left for anxieties and self-doubt.

"Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief."

Good friendship is healthy but it isn't easy for everyone. Getting people to like you is the starting point, and that should be fairly easy to do. People have a basic need to be liked themselves. Show interest, appreciation, and kindness. Smile. Praise given out sincerely is a great act of friendship. Be a good listener and try to see the good, not the bad qualities in people. These actions will usually be returned to you, sooner or later.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one. . . A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."  - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

As a friend, try to let an unfavorable incident or remark fly right over the top of your head. We all blurt out something stupid or do something regrettable at times, and it's so nice when the other acts as if it never happened. This is a dear friend.

"The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words."

Friendship

    * Proverbs 18:24
    * Proverbs 27:5-6